What Hormones?
by Agent R
Summary: A weird question, yes, but a question that must be used in this story. A lot of strange happenings, Richie's dressed as Tootsie, Duncan and Amanda start to make plans for an engagement, and having Amber around only sends the hormones flying. Hope you enjo
1. Default Chapter

What Hormones?  
  
Duncan came into the kitchen with a worried look on his face, he only looked like this once before, when he caught Richie with a teenaged girl in bed.  
  
"What is it?" Methos asked.  
  
"I guess after 400+ years, people read you like a book, on my way upstairs, I found this."  
  
Duncan put a rolled up magazine on the table, it quickly unrolled itself, with big bold letters on top, Brokers Club 203.  
  
"Well here's something you don't see everyday, what exactly is it?"  
  
"Small production for obscene portfolios," Duncan said.  
  
Methos flipped through the pages, it obviously wasn't something a man would look at, unless they were gay.  
  
"And what's the problem? You think this is Richie's?" Methos laughed.  
  
"No, there are 2 women in this house, which leaves 2 possibilities," Duncan said.  
  
"You think it's Amber?" Methos asked.  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Then that leaves Amanda," Methos told him.  
  
"I know."  
  
"So what're you waiting for?"  
  
"Hey Mac!" Amber walked in.  
  
"I think we'll find out soon," Duncan mumbled.  
  
"Hey, what're you doing with my magazine? I was looking for this."  
  
Duncan went into a stage of shock.  
  
"This is YOUR magazine?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Where'd you get it?" Duncan asked.  
  
"The grocery store, why? You have to be a certain age to get these?" Amber asked.  
  
"You're too young," Duncan clutched the magazine.  
  
"There's no nudity, just near nudity," Amber told him.  
  
"I know, I don't want you getting any ideas," Duncan said.  
  
"There's only one reason why I got this in the first place," Amber told him.  
  
"Oh yeah? Why?" Duncan asked.  
  
Amber pointed to a picture, "see the Latin guy in the lime green speedo?"  
  
"Yeah, so?" Duncan asked.  
  
"He's my boyfriend," Amber said.  
  
"Your what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Remember when I said I had a boyfriend who was in the Witness Protection Program?" Amber asked, "That's him."  
  
"Yeah," Duncan said, "so?"  
  
"That's him," Amber said.  
  
"That's Tony?" Duncan asked.  
  
"That's his new name, after he got put in the program, he got a completely new personality, life, past, it's good to see his picture again, and this time, not in the obitutary," Amber said.  
  
"Amber, that's disgusting," Duncan said.  
  
"I know, he had to stage his death so no one would find him," Amber said.  
  
"Well, you better make sure Amanda doesn't see this," Duncan handed her the again rolled up magazine.  
  
"Why? She already has her own issue," Amber told him.  
  
Duncan's eyebrows almost met his part when he heard that.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
At 5 the next morning, Duncan awoke to the noise of a loud car, he went over to his window, out onto the balcony and saw a jeep in the driveway.  
  
"Oh no, now what is it?"  
  
Duncan threw on his coat, slid down the railing, and jumped out the door to the driveway, he went around the car to the front and jumped when a teenaged boy popped up.  
  
"Who are you?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Ah, Duncan, I see you met an old friend of mine," Amber came out the front door.  
  
"Yeah, nice to meet you, now who the hell is he?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Duncan MacLeod, this is my old friend Ricky."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Ricky?"  
  
"That's all she said," Duncan said.  
  
"What's his last name? Ricardo?" Joe laughed.  
  
"Ricky Ma'roi," Amber came in.  
  
"Allright, now I have another question, who in the hell is Ricky Ma'roi?" Duncan asked.  
  
"I told you about him, remember? Latin guy, green speedo?" Amber asked.  
  
"Oh yeah, now I remember," Duncan said.  
  
"Anyway, he's in town for a while, so I invited him up here," Amber said.  
  
Ricky came in the front door with a suitcase.  
  
"So, has she changed much since you last saw her?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Is nice to meet you" Ricky said.  
  
"When he joined the Witness Protection Program, they had him learn Spanish, so he's having trouble remembering English," Amber said.  
  
"So where's he going to be staying?" Joe asked.  
  
"Guest room," Ricky said.  
  
"We don't have a guest room," Amanda came down the stairs.  
  
"We do now," Amber said.  
  
"What was that?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Well, Amber's got a boyfriend," Duncan told her.  
  
"A boyfriend, her? That's a laugh," Amanda said.  
  
"Oh yeah? Take a look," Duncan handed her the magazine, "pages 65-67."  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Hey Amber, where'd Ricky go?" Richie asked.  
  
"He had to leave, we found out that after 6 months, we're incompatable anymore, so he left," Amber said.  
  
"Sorry to hear that."  
  
"I'm not, the guy's been away for months, he comes back and he's got interests in tennis, opera, ballet, Martha Stewart, and the movie The Crying Game," Amber said, "how am I supposed to relate to that?"  
  
"I don't know, but it reminds me of a time that Mac fixed me up with his friend's daughter, she was only interested in culterial art, foreign parts of the world, Italian food, and the movie Titanic."  
  
"I don't know what anyone sees in that movie, it's about as boring as they can get," Amber said.  
  
"I agree," Richie said.  
  
"And you know what's worse than the opera she listens to?" Amber asked.  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"Duncan singing in the shower, every time I figure he's going to get one, I leave the house for an hour," Amber said.  
  
"It only takes him half an hour," Richie told her.  
  
"I don't wanna take any chances with him," Amber said.  
  
While those two chatted their lips off, Amanda hid in the kitchen listening in on their conversation, trying hard not to laugh.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Duncan came in through the front door with a large stack of mail, which included a letter from a friend of his.  
  
"Oh boy," Duncan laughed.  
  
"What is it?" Joe came in.  
  
"I got a letter from an old friend of mine, Charlie Kribolski," Duncan said, "he's moved to Germany, and he's sent an invitation for a party he's having on Friday."  
  
"Party?" Amber and RIchie came into the room, "What kind of party?"  
  
"Costume...he says if you're coming as a couple, try and come as a pair so we don't confuse your spouses for singles," Duncan said.  
  
"Well Joe, what couple do you think we should be?" Methos laughed.  
  
"Ha-ha-ha, I ain't going to no party, where some drunk's probably going to first shake my hand, then my cane, and leave me to fall flat on my face," Joe said.  
  
"Can we come?" Richie asked.  
  
"Sure, I don't see why not, besides, he said to come as a couple, if you two come as one, maybe the bouncers won't try to throw you out," Duncan said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Friday came, Duncan was going over the invitation again.  
  
"It says the party starts by 8 o' clock," Duncan said.  
  
"So we'll probably get there at 8:15, you're always late," Amanda said.  
  
"I am not ALWAYS late," Duncan replied.  
  
"True, half the time you come early," Amanda said, "so that means we'll probably really get that at 7:45."  
  
"SO what......what couple are you 2 going as?" Joe asked.  
  
"I'll give you one guess," Duncan told him.  
  
Joe took a long look at the both of them, Amanda was dressed in a long, sparkly evening gown, and Duncan was trying to pull off wearing a casual suit.  
  
"I got it!" Joe said, "you're the couple from Titanic!"  
  
Duncan rolled his eyes, the one exceptional night he wears a suit, and Joe makes cracks at it.  
  
Amber was by the bottom of the stairs in the kitchen, wearing maternity sized white clothes with a black flat rimmed hat and with her hair in strange, stiff braids.  
  
"Come on Richie!" she called.  
  
"Not going," Richie grunted.  
  
"Come on, you don't look that bad," Amber said.  
  
"Nothing doing," Richie replied.  
  
"Richie, you look fine, now come down," Amber said.  
  
"You're not seeing what I'm seeing," Richie said.  
  
"Amber, let me try," Duncan walked over to the stairs, "Richie, is it safe to assume the reason you don't want to come down is because of something involving your costume?"  
  
"Yep!"  
  
"Well look, it's just us down here, so come down and let's see what the problem is," Duncan called up.  
  
Richie slowly came down the stairs, everyone had the sudden urge to laugh when they saw Richie wearing an orange bubble flip wig, horn rimmed glasses, old lady lipstick, a rose-pink business suit including a skirt going down to his thighs, panty hose, and high heels.  
  
Duncan cracked, he couldn't help himself anymore, "Excuse me Amber, I didn't realize your spinster grandmother was in town, but can you see if Richie will come down?"  
  
"That does it, I'm changing," Richie headed for the stairs.  
  
"Wait a minute," Joe laughed, "what, what is the concept of you two's costumes?"  
  
"Well," Amber explained, "We figured we might as well go as a couple."  
  
"A couple of what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well, we decided to go as a couple of people who more or less went together, so, he's Tootsie and I'm Boy George," Amber answered.  
  
Everyone let loose after hearing that one, Richie started fidgeting around in his skirt.  
  
"What's the matter?" Duncan asked.  
  
"My hosery is bunching!" Richie exclaimed.  
  
Everyone presumed laughing, but Richie's face turned bright red.  
  
"Calm down," Duncan shrieked, "your rouse is starting to spread all across your face!"  
  
"That does it, I'm not going," Richie said.  
  
"Oh Richie come on, you know Germany's full of weird people, there's bound to be a bunch of crazy people at the party," Amber said.  
  
"Yeah, maybe you'll run into a guy like Dil from the Crying Game and you can go as a couple!" Joe exclaimed.  
  
"Can we just get this over with?" Richie asked.  
  
"Sure, I'll get your coat," Amber said.  
  
"I still don't know why I had to be Tootsie," Richie said.  
  
"Because," Amber told him, "You look better in a skirt than I do, now let's go."  
  
End of chapter one. 


	2. Party Aftermath

Party Aftermath  
  
Richie rushed in the front door and pulled his heels off, Amber quickly followed.  
  
"Something the matter, Tootsie?" Amber asked.  
  
"You know very well what's the matter," Richie said.   
  
"Oh come on Richie, there were people at the party who looked worse than you," Amber said.  
  
"Yeah, I know, I got hit on by 3 women who looked like Marilyn Manson, Alice Cooper, and David Bowie," Richie said.  
  
"Oh yeah? Try getting hit on by 8 men who look like the Pointer Sisters, Pat Benetar, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Cher, and Bjork," Amber replied.  
  
"That's different," Richie said.  
  
"How?" Amber asked.  
  
"The people who asked you to dance were somewhat good looking," Richie said.  
  
"Hey, believe me, I would glady have taken your 3 dates over the ones I got," Amber said.  
  
"Amber, I told you we should've gone as a couple," Richie told her.  
  
"We did, a couple of cross dressers," Amber said.  
  
Richie fidgeted with his jacket trying to hang it up, Amber took it and put it on the rack correctly, as Duncan and Amanda came in, Richie ran upstairs.  
  
"Well, how was the party?" Joe asked.  
  
"Wonderful, Richie and I got stuck with a bunch of cross dressers for dates, Duncan got picked up by this biiiiiiiig guy dressed like a 40's bookie, and Amanda got sick from the punch and threw up on Charlie's rose bush," Amber said.  
  
"Sounds like you had a good time," Joe said.  
  
"About as good as it could get, I swear, I'm not sure who acted more immature at the party, Richie or Amber," Duncan said.  
  
"What did they do?" Methos asked.  
  
"Richie kept trying to hide from 3 women in the broom closet, and when that failed, he went into the bathroom and got kicked out," Duncan said.  
  
"Why?" Methos asked.  
  
"Charlie has 2 bathrooms, one for men, one for women, he went into the men's room and got thrown out, and he was too embarassed to go into the ladies' room, and Amber...stole a neck tie from a guy dressed as a corpse, put a lamp shade on her head, took off her boots, and danced around in the guacomole. While I'm getting picked up and thrown out by an Amazon sized bouncer, and Amanda's getting food poisoning," Duncan said.  
  
"Well I'd say that was the least of your problems," Methos said.  
  
"How do you figure?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Before you came in, those two were carrying on like the Young and the Restless, personally, I'd keep a close eye on them, you know how things can get with.....teenaged hormones," Methos said.  
  
"What hormones? I got no hormones! I'm going to bed," Amber went up the stairs.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Actually, no sooner had she reached her bedroom door, she opened it and slammed it from the outside, and headed over to Richie's room, the door was open a crack, and she could see him scrubbing his makeup off.  
  
"Ease up, otherwise your face will have more red to it than it did when you wore the rouse," Amber said.  
  
"Amber, I swear, I'm never going through an ordeal like that again! I've never been so embarassed before in my life," Richie said.  
  
"What about the time Duncan caught you dancing naked in the living room when your girlfriend was coming over with him as an escort?" Amber asked.  
  
"That was 2 people Amber, BOTH who had seen me naked before. This was in a room full of people, and I was dressed as a woman!" Richie said.  
  
"Yeah, and so were 28 other guys," Amber said.  
  
"And no one made fun of them," Richie told her.  
  
"EVERYONE made fun of them, Richie, hell, while the drag queens were enterine the house, I filled up a bunch of male condoms with water and threw them at them, whooping and howling, the only person who didn't notice was you, because you were too worried about what they were thinking," Amber said.  
  
"What about the other drag queens? What did they say when everyone started talking about them and pointing at them and whistling at them?" Richie asked.  
  
"They just laughed it off, it was just for one party, Richie, and I've seen most of those guys before, some are on the football team, others work in a garage, 3 of them are registered at the local college and wear jerseys and sweats all day, Richie, one night of being in a dress and an orange wig doesn't mean anything," Amber said.  
  
"It does if you're Richie Ryan!" he snapped at her.  
  
Richie got up and started fidgeting with the buckles and straps on his dress to get it off, he found this dress to be far more complicated than the one he wore at Halloween, 1984.  
  
Amber got up and put her arms around Richie's waist to start unbuckling it.  
  
"How long did it take you to get into this thing?" Amber asked.  
  
"20 minutes," Richie said.  
  
"With or without the hose?"   
  
"Without, that took another 15," Richie said.  
  
"Boy, if it took me that long to get into something, I'd be flaunting at that party....I remember one time I was in New Orleans, during a Mardi Gra, they were having a costume contest, and 4 grown men who everyone took seriously, and were built like pro-wrestlers, came in those off the shoulder tie shirts, and this funny skirts they tied up from bedsheets, with those cloths on their heads they kept bananas in. 2 of them came in second place."  
  
"Who won?" Richie asked.  
  
"The man who came dressed as Goldie Haun," Amber said.  
  
"DOH!"   
  
Richie slapped himself in the forehead, Amber already had him half-way out of the dress, he was starting to feel relieved.  
  
"You know, for an absolute slob, you're pretty good at this," Richie said.  
  
"Yeah well, just cuz I don't like dresses doesn't mean I'm not good with them, I remember my uncle having a wedding and I had to help with the bridesmaids, it was awful, he had arranged this 80s era wedding, I swear, it looked like the audience from the MTV VMAs," Amber said.  
  
"Same Uncle who taught you the folding chair technique?" Richie asked.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well, after your parents died, why didn't he take you in?"  
  
"Because a month before they were killed, a 500 pound man did the folding chair on HIM!" Amber said.  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
"There, now you can slip out of that ugly garment and do what you normally do," Amber said.  
  
As Amber smoothed down the dress, Richie held onto the custom made support brassaire with the loose foam cups in it, Amber looked up and saw that the brassaire was made for his whole figure.  
  
"And you thought the dress was bad, how does this thing stay on?" Amber asked.  
  
"Ties in the back."  
  
"Yeah, 50 times, if you hold still for a minute, I should have this untied," Amber said.  
  
"Okay, but after that you're gonna have to leave," Richie said.  
  
"Why?" Amber asked.  
  
"Because I'm not wearing anything on underneath this," Richie turned his head.  
  
"Got ya," Amber said, "and Richie, one more thing about this corset."  
  
"What?"   
  
"White is NOT your color," Amber said.  
  
"I'll have to keep that in mind," Richie laughed.  
  
"Okay, NOW you can do whatever you normally do," Amber said.  
  
"Later, right now I'm going to jump into a tub of scalding hot water, that makeup and perfume, and the marks from that hose is awful!" Richie replied.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
After Richie got into the tub, he decided to sulk for a while, he still felt a bit like a jackass, going to the party as a drag queen, and then having Amber help undress him, boy he felt like putting a brown paper bag over his head...  
  
He was currently trying to scrub off a tattoo he drew on for the party in lip liner, now if only he could find the soap, he'd gotten so much hot water built up, the whole room was steamy.  
  
"Where'd that bar go?" Richie felt around in the tub for it.  
  
"Here you are, Richie," Amber handed him the soap.  
  
"Thanks Amber," Richie went back to scrubbing off the half moon and music notes, "AMBER!?"  
  
There was a loud confusing ruckus which ended with Richie chasing Amber out of the bathroom, swinging a baseball bat, wearing a towel.  
  
"What were you doing in there?" Richie asked.  
  
"You were trying to find the soap, so I thought I'd hand it to you," Amber said.  
  
"What's the idea of walking in on me in the tub?" Richie asked.  
  
"What's the big deal of it?" Amber asked.  
  
"I WAS NAKED!" Richie exclaimed.  
  
"Well I didn't see, the room was so steamy and the tub was full of shaving creme and soap, all I saw was you from the.....ribs up," Amber placed her hands on Richie's ribs.  
  
"Stop that!" Richie laughed, "Cut it out, I'm TICKLISH!"  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Richie stepped out of the bathroom dressed in jeans and a large T-shirt, he reached under the bed for his sneakers and realized Amber was lying on the bed.  
  
"What're you doing?" Richie asked.  
  
"Waiting for you," Amber said.  
  
"Well thank you for giving me some privacy to get dressed," Richie grunted.  
  
"So, you still mad at me?" Amber asked.  
  
"A bit," Richie said.  
  
"For walking in on you?" Amber asked.  
  
"No, for making me wear that ridiculous outfit to the party," Richie said.  
  
"Well, can I say something about that?" Amber asked.  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"I thought you looked pretty cute," Amber said.  
  
Richie thought she was joking, but she sounded pretty serious.  
  
"Are you crazy?" Richie asked.  
  
"No, I thought you looked pretty good," Amber said, "you certainly looked a lot better than the guy who went to the party looking like Madam Cucharacha."  
  
Richie turned red and tried not to laugh, being compared to a fat woman with a table doiley holding up his French braid wasn't much of a compliment.  
  
"You're comparing me to a deceased Stooge?" Richie asked.  
  
"No, Madam Cucharacha is Charlie's wife at the party, she was dressed in a red Mexican dress with gold off the shoulder straps, and a corsage on her ankle," Amber said.  
  
"I have a question," Richie said.  
  
"What?" Amber asked.  
  
"Are you going to be staying in my room for the night? Cuz if you are, I'm going into your room to get some rest!" Richie told her.  
  
End of chapter 2 


	3. Unusual Favor

Unusual Favor  
  
Duncan was in the kitchen wrapping up something he picked up for Amanda when he heard her coming down the stairs, he quickly stashed the small box in his coat and turned around.  
  
"Should I ask what you're up to or do I want to know?" Amanda asked.  
  
"You'll find out soon enough, how were you last night?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Awful, I practically spent the whole night in the bathroom throwing up, then at around 4 in the morning, my stomach was back to normal, what about you?" Amanda asked.  
  
"I spent the whole night trying to put my spleen back into place," Duncan said, "tell me, have you seen Richie?"  
  
"Today?" Amanda asked, "No, but I thought I heard him in the shower earlier."  
  
"What about Amber?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, she wasn't in the shower."  
  
"I mean did you see her?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Yes, she's raiding Richie's closet, playing tricks on him, so I think she'll be busy for a while."  
  
"Well that's good, it'll give me some time to think," Duncan said.  
  
"About what?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Well, this is going to be the first time in several years she'll be with even a somewhat family for Christmas, now all of you guys I have figured out, but I can't think of anything to get her."  
  
"She's easy, just get her a gore filled movie or something with 'Bloody death' in the title and she'll be happy as a clam," Amanda said, "or you could just ask her to give you a hint."  
  
"Amanda, have you seen her hints? During a game of charades, a person could be riding a bicycle, and she could take 3 guesses of a motorcycle, a pogo stick, and a snowmobile," Duncan laughed.  
  
"Well then we won't play charades, just ask her if she has any ideas," Amanda said.  
  
"Speak of the devil, here she comes," Duncan grunted.  
  
Amber slipped down the railing and onto the table, almost hitting Duncan.  
  
"Hello Amber," he said, "there's something I want to ask you."  
  
"Hey you waxed the table," Amber changed the subject, "I can see myself."  
  
"Amber, Duncan was wondering if you could give him a hint on what to get you for Christmas?" Amanda asked.  
  
"Gee, I don't know, for the last few years, I pretty much put that part of my life behind me...I can't really think of anything," Amber said.  
  
"Well, if you think of anything, just let me know," Dunncan said.  
  
Amber rolled up her sleeve and checked her watch.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Get up!" Amber stormed into Richie's room.  
  
"What time is it?" Richie rolled over.  
  
"Time to get up, 11:15 Richie, not even Mac and Amanda stay in bed this long, what's the matter with you?" Amber asked.  
  
"I'm tired! I didn't get to sleep until 2 in the morning, good night," Richie pulled the sheets back up.  
  
"Good day!" Amber threw the sheets off, "Come on Richie, I'm sure nobody will remember what happened at the party."  
  
"You remember!" Richie exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, but do you think I'm gonna go blabbing it to a million people?" Amber asked, "Come on Richie! It'll do you some good to get some air!"  
  
"Amber, I am not going out there where half the town is going to remember seeing me in a pink dress with an orange wig, horn rimmed glasses, and a white corset from when I fell while entering the party," Richie groaned.  
  
"You're coming with me and that's that!"  
  
"I'm not going!" Richie protested, "you can't make me!"  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"How did you make me?" Richie asked.  
  
"Oh lighten up, a little exercise will do you some good, get some air, get some color," Amber said.  
  
"Get off the grass!" Mr. Kaine yelled at them.  
  
"We're going, we're going! We're going to take a shortcut through the daisies," Richie said.  
  
"DON'T GO ON THE DAISIES YOU ANIMAL!" Mr. Kaine called.  
  
"I wonder what his problem is?" Amber asked.  
  
"I don't know, but let's get out of here before he comes at us with his shoe," Richie said.  
  
Richie and Amber ambushed it out of there, turning at the corner of the block and came across a guy from the party.  
  
"Oh God, Amber, who is that?" Richie asked.  
  
"That's Stan Quintin, one of the college boys from the party, he went dressed as Scary Spice of the Spice Girls," Amber said.  
  
"Oh God," Richie put his hand over his eyes.  
  
"Hey STANLEY!" Amber called.  
  
Stan was out in the driveway waxing his car, he looked up and came across 2 familiar faces.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"He knows you?" Richie asked.  
  
"Come on, let's go talk to him," Amber jerked Richie's wrist, "STANLEY!"  
  
"Well if it isn't Richie Ryan and George O'Dowd," Stan laughed.  
  
"Yeah, betcha almost didn't recognize Richie without the tattoo," Amber said.  
  
"That wasn't the only thing, he had a run in his stocking last night," Stan laughed.  
  
"No wonder I was starting to feel comfortable," Richie sighed.  
  
"Hey Stan, I was telling Richie that he didn't have anything to worry about with that dress last night," Amber told him.  
  
"Hey, don't get me wrong, he looked good in that dress, but that corset was freaky," Stan said.  
  
"Well I needed something to hold my figure," Richie said.  
  
"He had it custom made," Amber told him, "anyway, I was telling him that one night wouldn't blow his full term of punk ass street smart teen, right?"  
  
"Right...you got nothing to worry about, Hoffman, in this town, cross dressing means basically nothing. One time, when we were in high school, a bunch of us guys went to our senior prom dressed as Marilyn Monroe and Madonna and all those classy figures, nobody said anything after that night, know why?" Stan asked.  
  
"Sure, cuz you were on the wrestling team," Richie said.  
  
"No, the other guys were the wrestling team, and we told them that if they said anything, we'd put liquid heat in their tights," Stan said, "well, I gotta get back to work, see you guys later."  
  
Richie and Amber picked up on their run, "feeling better, Rich?"  
  
"A bit, only a couple of things I need to know, 1, where to get liquid heat, and 2, why do wrestlers wear tights in high school?"  
  
As Richie and Amber turned the corner, an old man saw them coming and splashed both of them with a bucket of ice-cold water.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Amber yanked a shirt out of Richie's closet and pretty much landed in it.  
  
"Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes, Richie, I'd be up a tree if I had to explain to Duncan why we both came back soaking wet," Amber said.  
  
"Well won't he find it strange that you're taking clothes out of my closet?" Richie asked.  
  
"Are you kidding? It's December in Germany, that man threw a bucket of cold water on us, your clothes are the only ones I can get into, it hurts too much to raise my arms, they're still a bit numb from the cold," Amber said, "you know, I.............."  
  
"What?" Richie asked.  
  
"Excuse me, I have to go talk to Duncan," Amber said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"You wanna WHAT?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Well, you said if I had any ideas to tell you and I've decided this is what I want," Amber said.  
  
"But why?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Duncan, if you could move me in with Richie, it would be perfect!" Amber told him.  
  
"The only good thing that could come from this is you can't have kids...Amber, I'm not going to do this, do you realize what's going to happen if I put you 2 in the same room? Haven't you read any V.C. Andrews novels?" Dncan asked.  
  
"What do I look like? A Dollanganger? I'm not asking you to put us in the same bed, I'm asking you to put us in the same bedROOM!" Amber said.  
  
"I still don't understand why!" Duncan said.  
  
"Easy, we swap each other's clothes, we're pretty much the same size, except in the footwear, we can swap each other's CDs, we swap each other's books, we swap each other's minds sometime. It would only make sense if we were both in the same bedroom, it'd be easier, besides, lately Richie needs my help, he's having trouble getting that red polish off his toes," Amber said.  
  
"Well listen Amber, I.....WHAT?!" Duncan asked.  
  
"He put on red nail polish for the party, and now he can't get it off," Amber said, "Duncan, if you could do this one thing, I'd be grateful."  
  
"Take my word for it Amber, it's not worth it, and maybe in a couple hundred years, you'll be grateful for THAT," Duncan said.  
  
Amber gave Duncan a look that would kil a mortal, and walked off, Duncan went over to his liquor cabinet and poured himself a drink.  
  
"Now why do I get the feeling that I'm going to be visited by 3 ghosts tonight?" he asked himself.  
  
End of chapter 3. 


	4. Unusual Conclusion

Unusual Conclusion  
  
"You said what?" Richie asked.  
  
"I told him that I wanted him to put us in the same bedroom, Richie, you know as well as I do that your room is big enough for both of us, and we wouldn't have to stay in the same bed either, I can easily drag mine in here," Amber said.  
  
"When did you get this crazy idea?" Richie asked.  
  
"After I jumped into your clothes and figured if we were in the same room all the time, then it would make more sense," Amber said.  
  
"Excuse me, I have to go talk to Mac," Richie said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Then the guy threw a bucket of ice cold water on us, and we had to get our asses back here before we froze, Mac, I swear, if she said anything of the sort, her brain was probably already frost bitten," Richie said.  
  
"Richie, she sounded pretty sane, but the whole idea is INSANE," Duncan said.  
  
"Maybe to you," Richie muttered, "but..."  
  
"But what?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Oh please, Duncan, now if you're thinking......well never mind that, I KNOW what you're thinking," Richie got up.  
  
"AND?"  
  
"You're wrong."  
  
"Wonderful, now that we've considered this, Richie, maybe you can tell me something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What the hell am I supposed to be thinking that you say this?"  
  
"Mac, I know what you're thinking."  
  
"Richie, you know I'm not thinking anything, never have, never do."  
  
"Mac, you think that if you put us in the same room, first it's swaping each other's clothes, next it's each other's body fluids, but believe me, if I even mentioned that to Amber, she'd rip my throat out and hand it to me," Richie said.  
  
"Your throat, of course, for lack of more useful equipment," Duncan said.  
  
"Maaaac!"   
  
"Riiichhhhiieee," Duncan returned, "you keep your interest in this the way you wish, and let me keep my interest in this ordeal the way I want to."  
  
"Okay," Richie turned around, "HUH?"  
  
"It's allright if you want to keep an interest with her, but my interest in this whole thing is to keep you 2 in separate rooms for good reasons," Duncan said.  
  
"Oh come on Mac, look, Immortals grow old, it just never shows right? So that makes me around 26."  
  
"That's even more reason to worry, it's one thing when the teenage hormones kick in, it's natural, but you...and her....and oh I don't know where to begin with you!" Duncan flabbergasted.  
  
"Well I know where to begin, goodbye!"  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Richie, why in the hell did you even bother speaking with him?" Amber asked.  
  
"Because I wanted to get to the bottom of this, I think you were suffering from temporary brain freeze when you asked him," Richie said.  
  
"Oh come on Richie!"  
  
"Amber, do you really think that the 2 of us could stand being together in the same room for who knows how long?" Richie asked.  
  
"I don't see why not, you've been out of the grave for seven months, you should really be considering trying new things before you go back," Amber said.  
  
"That reminds me, I've been meaning to ask, how in the world did you bring me out of the grave?" Richie asked.  
  
"Long story, you got time?" Amber asked.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
"Well, I wasn't in New Jersey around the time I was expecting you back, I'd take a trip over to India, over there, I met some of those uh...what do you call them......uh.....voodoo scholars, they taught me a few things while I was there, I figured I'd come back and try them with you," Amber said.  
  
"And what were you going to do with me?" Richie asked.  
  
"I'm not sure, half the things I forgot, the other half I couldn't pronounce, so it was a wonder I was able to bring you back to life, but...when I saw your tombstone tumbling, I knew something was working right," Amber said.  
  
"Amber, what am I going to do with you?" Richie asked.  
  
"I'm not sure, but I got a pretty good idea," Amber said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
Methos entered the kitchen and noticed Duncan with a lifeless look in his eyes.  
  
"Did I come at a bad time?" Methos asked.  
  
"I'm not sure, let me ask you a question, do you find it normal for 2 young people who try only to kill each other, to live in the same room, especially around a time when they have raging hormones?" Duncan asked.  
  
"You and Amanda are practically engaged, by this time, you can do just about however you want," Methos said.  
  
"Not me! It's Richie and Amber," Duncan said.  
  
"The young and the restless."  
  
"Yes, Amber thinks it makes perfect sense, Richie thinks she's just suffering from temporay insanity or something or other."  
  
"And what about you?" Methos asked.  
  
"I don't know what to think, and when I do, I just keep thinking of the times Richie came back into town always with a different girl, and you know as well as I do what he had on his mind," Duncan told him.  
  
"Yes, but that was before, before Richie was as old as he is now, before he knows about sex what he does now, before he was beheaded and buried, Duncan MacLeod, you surprise me," Methos said.  
  
"Why? Do I surprise you because I'm actually using a little common sense around here?" Duncan asked.  
  
"No, but because you're acting like a horse's ass," Methos replied, "look, in my opinion, the only way you're going to find out if this will even work at all will be to give it a try, and if it doesn't work, move them back into separate rooms."  
  
"Are you kidding? Even if it were just for practice, there's still no way I'd put them in the same room without putting a brick wall between them," Duncan said.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Richie, are you seriously trying to tell me that you don't think we could stay in the same room together?" Amber asked.  
  
"I don't know, nothing personal, I like you and all, but who's to say?" Richie asked, "I mean, we might try to kill each other in the middle of the night and steal each other's clothes for all I know."  
  
"Believe me, I've been through enough of that before that I've lost complete and total interest in it," Amber said, "where're you going?"  
  
"I'm not going to have this conversation with you sober, want a drink?"  
  
"No thanks, after seeing what Duncan did at that party, I'm going clean," Amber said.  
  
  
  
"I've never heard of a totally sober Immortal, but...you never know, you could be the first, nothing wrong with that," Richie said.  
  
"Well if you're going to get drunk, I don't see any point IN talking with you," Amber said, "good day!"  
  
Amber stormed out of Richie's room and slammed the door, and headed over to her room.  
  
*************************************************************************************************  
  
"Hey Rich, what's going on?" Duncan asked.  
  
"Amber and me had a fight and she stormed out of here," Richie said.  
  
"I know, she's getting ready to take off again," Duncan said, "you okay?"  
  
"Fine, I just-----I gotta go talk to her before she leaves."  
  
Richie went into Amber's room and went in, she was packing her suitcase.  
  
"Getting ready to take off again?" Richie asked.  
  
"Yep," Amber said.  
  
"Should I expect you coming back?" Richie asked.  
  
"I doubt it, I hear Duncan's planning on moving back to Seacouver, wherever in the Sam hill that is," Amber said.  
  
"Washington."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Seacouver's in Washington, that's where we met," Richie said.  
  
"Figures," Amber said.  
  
Amber closed her suitcase and headed for the door.  
  
"Amber, wait a minute," Richie said.  
  
"What is it?" Amber asked.  
  
"I wasn't going to give you this until Christmas, but since I might not see you until after it..."  
  
Richie handed her a thin, tightly packed box, Amber opened it and pulled out a silver framed portrait of her mother.  
  
"How did you get this?" Amber asked.  
  
"Long story...do you like it?" Richie asked.  
  
"Yeah, I lost most of their pictures shortly after they died, thanks Richie, and, I left something for you, it's under your bed corner at the right," Amber told him.  
  
Amber and Richie gazed into each other's eyes for a while, then they decided to move to the kiss and get it over with, then Amber grabbed her suitcase and left.  
  
End of chapter 4 


End file.
